Wanna Go Bowling?

With such kind words from my buddy Joe in regards to the Fraternity stuff, I thought I'd tell a few more stories. However, and I know Joe hates this, there is a fine line of secrecy still needed to be kept with Fraternity stories, or "Secret Boy Stuff" as I referred to it as in college. Basically, there are only so many of the stories I can tell, the best ones I cannot due to either Ritual Violation, or could possibly implicate my house in something they shouldn't have been involved in. Being a former fraternity president and spending every Wednesday morning in Student Conduct, trying to keep my house on triple-secret-probation instead of getting the Death Sentence.
-Side's note: Death sentence is no letters, no house for 5 years. The theory is that after 5 years, everyone associated with the house will be gone, which then the Fraternity can reapply for recognition. Now, when they get re-recognized, the university and National (the fraternity's national representives) will have their hands in every move the house makes. Everything from parties, chapter meetings and pledging semester will be in full view by and adhere to National's bylaws. What does this mean? Basically, your houase will be an Insta-Bro establishment (as soon as you are a pledge, you are a bro) with no credit in anyone’s eyes. You will rock less than the Architecture fraternity, have no bond with each other and alas no good bro-stories. But at least you'll be able to wear sweaters with PIKE or Sigma Chi on them, friggin birds.
I know that USC will never let bygones by bygones, and I wouldn't put it past the evil empire known as Student Affairs of using even my blog as evidence against my house. So, I don't get to tell you about "Pardeep, there is shit on my chapter room floor" or "Puke on ME!", but some other things I can disclose.
As i mentioned earlier, we had this sport we played called Bro-Bowling. Now, each night f the week, there was some sort of excuse to drink. Monday, you had chapter meetings, so usually after chapter, we would want to have a bonding thing, so most of us would get bombed, go to the 9-0, some shit like that. Tuesday night was pint night. Wednesday I had accounting till 6, so afterward I would go to Traditions (aka Tratty's) USC's on-campus bar, where you can buy drinks with your USC card. My bro Beck would usually be in attendance, and since he knew the head bartender (usually a Beta, passed on like heritage) we could get a few free drinks. You know how we roll when we go to Beaches? As soon as we walk in Mind erasers, surfer on acid and BL. Well, I learned that from Beck. but it was usually, a BL to start with 3 or 4 mind erasers in the span of 20 minutes, followed by a mind probe and a few more beers. the bike ride home was always fun, especially if "jousting" or "chicken" was involved. But usually it was extremely fun because we ended up just slamming into each other at full speed, falling on the concrete/grass. And I always wondered why i needed a new bike every semester. Ok, Thursday was Thursday. Friday was Friday blah blah blah. Right? Ok, but sometimes Wednesdays were mellow, and Swiss Cheevens and Gabe (i think gabe) started doing Wine and Cheese night. Pretty self explanatory. What does this have to do with bowling, you may ask? I'm getting there. Ok, at the end of the night, you might have like 9 bottles of wine or so. Well, we lived in the dirtiest fraternity house imaginable, as mentioned with the 2 bathroom reference. So dirty that the hallways were not carpeted, not hardwood floored, not even tile. We had BRICK hallways. That's right, our hallways were one step above concrete. For some reason, ‘Mo had this bowling ball in his room. I think tha ball was passed on from his Big Bro, or something, I can’t quite remember. I think if you go back there, room 20 might still have it, but I could be wrong. Well, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where this is going. You basically turn the upstairs hallway into a bowling lane. You close the stairway door, at the back entrance end, set up a few empty bottles, go to the other end, and chuck the bowling ball down the hallway. The great part is, since it’s a hallway, it’s kinda like having bumper lanes. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been privy to hearing a bowling ball bounce down a brick hallway at 2am, crashing into a configuration of wine bottles… but it’s pretty sweet.

Roof swings are not so much a sport, but just plain entertainment. We have a flag pole in the courtyard that goes almost right up alongside our chapter room. What you do is, you climb onto the roof of our chapter room, and grab the flag cable you use to raise up the flag. You wrap that cable around the length of your forearm, like you are winding up an extension chord. You star running in a arc around the flag pole, towards the edge of the roof, into the courtyard. Imagine something like a tether ball, only you are the tetherball. You then run full speed and jump off the roof. If you do it right, you will swing around the flag pole, over the courtyard and land back on the roof on the way around. This is pretty damn fun, if you ask me. It’s like paragliding, only different. Night time is the most dangerous, usually because you are super bombed, and it’s dark. If you jump too wide, well you’re an idiot and you fall into the courtyard. If you jump too narrow, you’ll arc back into the flag pole, which isn’t very fun, seeing that Christian did that and slid down the pole, which is no problem. Yet, he was unable to see the sharp tie-box (made of steel or some other strong metal) that abruptly caught him along his side, giving him a nice gash. Don’t worry though, we all learned from his mistake. If you don’t have enough slack, you wont be able to run on the roof when you land, and you’ll just dangle, eventually falling on the gravel roof once you let go. If you have too much slack, you end up slamming into the chapter room, like a moron, not keeping your height high enough to make it back to the roof. The trick really was to have just a little too much slack, but pulling yourself up while in the air. Then once you have made it back to the roof, you let it down so you can run. Imagine jumping out of a moving car, landing is kind of like that.
Oh, which reminds me…Two weeks ago we heard witness to Chi being pushed down Manhattan Beach Blvd in a shopping cart. Funny thing is, that’s been done so many times before. Once by this guy in my house, but the person(s) pushing him weren’t his Chi-hoes.Nope it was a homeless dude he had given 5 bucks to, to push him home since he was too bombed to walk the rest of the way.