Yesterday was ST. Patrick’s Day, I hope everyone had a good time. I spent mine in an Irish pub here called O’ Malleys O’ Malleys, obviously drinking Guinness into the wee hours of night. Which got me thinking, I’m not sure if there is a city I have been to, that I haven’t gone into or at least seen an Irish Pub. Shanghai has O’Malleys. The little island of Ios in Greece has The Dubliner. I’ve been to The Fiddler’s Elbow in Florence, where my buddy got head butted by some Aussie. When I went to NYC for Hoboken ST. Patty’s day, needless to say, there were a few, scattered around. When I took a trip to Seattle for work, first place we went was an Irish pub. It just seems that everywhere, the formula works. Strange phenomenon.

Some very random thoughts:

For years I had to take off my shirt every time I took a dump. I’m not sure when is started, but I think sometime in high school. I had this phobia of wiping my ass, and then slipping and literally getting shit on the back of my shirt.

Some know that I have the uncanny ability to say really stupid things to chicks, usually in the late hours of drinking. Although typically the statement is something extremely rude that completely negates any chance of hooking up with said girl. This is an exchange that I think occurred last weekend, but I might be wrong. To preface, it happened in a club, with the hip hop music blaring, around 3am.
Side: (Yelling over the music) What’s your name?
Girl: (Unaudible sound) gggnnn
Side: What?
Girl: (Screaming) June. LIKE THE MONTH
Side: (Thinking…come up with something witty about the month of June. Think of something witty. Think of something witty) June huh? Cool, I was born in July!
-can’t make this stuff up-

Question: Do you ever go through your cell phone and find numbers for people with names like Q#$d8j? You have no idea when you got this number, whom it belongs to, or even if she was hot. Probably you were either too drunk to remember her name (after asking her 13 times throughout the night) or you were too drunk to enter the name in correctly, thinking that you’ll remember the girl’s name in the morning.
Follow up: And why in the hell do I not delete it? Like, I’m afraid I’ll be driving home one day and all of a sudden remember some broad’s name?

I have to finally admit I have a problem. Some people have foot fetishes, or things for tall girls or chicks with huge bombs. I have a thing for ponytails, and it has become disastrous. Last weekend a buddy of mine asked if a certain chick from the night before, was hot and I responded with, “I have NO idea...But she had a PONYTAIL!”.

Have you ever tried to explain to someone that you just met, the debauchery of a Rockhampalace weekend, and all the nuances? Explaining in detail to some girl about how it is ok for your friend to pour a full beer on your head, that it is almost expected, is not an easy thing to do, without looking like a complete idiot. Then, when you get to the story about a guy on your plane flight home from Cabo, recognizing YOU as the most bombed in a club, and you get really excited about it….not good. I’m 27 years old (fuck!), and just last month I got kicked out beaches for pouring a cup of icewater on my own dome because I was sad my buddy who normally pours beer on my head, wasn’t out with us.



Here's a shot of Shanghai in 2010. This city is sinking, by the way.