Hi Pot, this is the Kettle. You're Black.

My apologies to John Clayton for pointing out his fault on my last blog. John, if you are reading this, and I know you are, I'm sorry. As you may or may not know, Emily Salier is from the Indigo Girls, not 10,000 Maniacs as my friend Dimes pointed out. Which, I think I feel pretty O.K. about making that mistake. It means I'm not into either of those bands. If you took The Indigo Girls, 10,000 Maniacs and The Cranberries, I probably couldn't tell you who is who. I had to find out her name by searching "chicks voice in 'champagne high' Sister Hazel" on Google. Yet my buddy knows what band she is in, hmmm. I think that's pretty close to correcting someone after they misquoted Ghost. Just, no need to be done. But what am I gonna say? I used to drive a Cabriolet. But it had tinted windows and a sweet sound system, and it wasn't white. Speaking of being accused of being gay, when I was in college if anyone called me "gay" or "such a fag" as with typical fraternity house lingo, I would always respond with, "Dude! I’m only half gay, come on" just to throw them off a little.
(Oh my, I'm not sure if I even want to tell this story. Mom, if you ever read my blog, don’t read this one)
Ok, first let me preface this with those of you that know me well, know I'm a pretty non-homophobic person. I'm very secure with my sexuality and all. I'm pretty, I guess you could say "touchy" with my friends. (This sounds so gay right now, as I write it, but bear with me)I even make lots of references to making out with Derek Jeter, and stupid stuff like that. But by no means am I remotely the slightest bit gay. I would even argue that with my buddy Avon’s “hypothetical” questions, that he’s a closet homo.
(Side note: Last time I was back in the US, I was sitting on Avon’s couch and he pops one of his classic questions. If you were stranded on a desert island, and the only magazine/reading material you had was Play-Girl (Naked Dudes), would you try to beat-it to it? My response was along the lines of “no way!” and that I if I found that mag, I would launch it into the ocean. I would probably just draw naked chicks in the sand, and try to beat it to that)
In college, the half-gay went on for a long time, so long that I think some people started to wonder if I really was half gay. My roommate Coach-Roger and I would always make homo references to spooning the night before, just to piss off our girlfriends and stuff. Kind of like when I tell Dell’s friend, who is a chick, that “Dell was getting a little teethy last night and my whoo-hooo is sore”. Anyways, this type of joking went on for a while. The pinnacle of this was one Saturday morning, I'm laying in bed with my then-girlfriend after just doing what college kids so "in bed" on a Saturday morning. She then turns to me and asks, in the way that ONLY she could ask something like this, and blurts out, "Are you REALLY half gay?".