Bathroom Etiquette

How on earth does someone not understand bathroom etiquette? Our office is on the 7th floor, where four different companies share restroom facilities. Specifically speaking, there are three pissers and three shitters. The urinal situation is prime because you can have two people pissing at once, with a “buffer” in between. Unless of course the Chinese moron who doesn’t understand bathroom etiquette decides that pissing in the middle urinal, right next to you, when the third one is open is ok. You fucking homo! Are you trying to solidify the “rumors” that my cock is bigger than yours? Because I will whip it out and slap you in the face with it, if you needed confirmation. Everyone knows my schlong is bigger than yours, especially your girlfriend because she kept telling me last night, you queer ass-fuck. Goddamnit, do you not see that there was an open pisser next to you? I should take a bite out of your cheek, eat it and then shit you out you stupid, small penis having lemming. FUCK, I hate you and everything about you. May you have rested in peace, had I caught your eyes on my Johnson. I would have forced you to reenact the bathroom scene from Train Spotting or at least No Hold Barred, you retarded decroaded piece of crap. May you choose wiser next time young Paduan, or I will surely spray you with my light saber. Argh, it’s only Wednesday and I have to work on Saturday, so I’m not even over the hump. IDIOT!
Oh well. At least my D is bigger.