Gettin Hitched

I hate when people start off their most recent blogs with, "sorry I haven't posted/blogged in a while but...". You're not really that sorry, just busy, uncreative, occupied or just plain an asshole. Don't need to apologize about it, so get into your friggin blog already. No need to remind me that you haven't given me anything good to read in over a week. Enough already.

Sometimes even I (along with Dell) forget I live in a communist country. There are big differences and small differences between living in The States and living here in China. Big differences are things like censorship, as the article above points out. The little ones are things like, you can't buy big bags of frozen chicken breasts at the grocery store. Actually, there are not that many grocery stores to begin with. Another one is safety. Girls can walk around this city after hours feeling completely safe. You can be out at 3 am and see women walking home by themselves, like nothing could harm them. However, they refuse to take a taxi by themselves after 1am.

I'm looking forward to my late June trip back to the America. Even though it has only been 4+ months since I've been back, it's seemed much longer. Here's a quick list of things I need to get done while in the U.S.

1)Lucky Boy Breakfast Burrito
2)Northwoods Inn (or at least The Boat)
3)In 'N Out
4)The Beach
5)Swim in my parents swimming pool
6)Full Rejuvies in the Ocean*
7)Beirut
8)Shanghai Sangria Night with Dell, some Dice and some chicks (others are welcome and I know this one sounds really gay).
9)Remy Night and then Beaches
10)Beaches
11)Drink Merlot at 'Da Cattle
12)El Chollo
13)Halo (drinking or otherwise)
14)Del Taco
And Most important...
15)Get a friggin Tan

*Note, Full Rejuvies in the ocean are different than just going into the ocean because you must be hung over (read both mana and life are at critical levels) to need a Full Rejuvie. You would never use a Full Rejuvie in an other circumstance, unless you are an idiot. So, by saying that I want a Full Rejuvie implies that I want to have done something the night before, which would then cause both my life and mana levels to be low. Heavy boozing would be an example of such an activty.

Last night, after getting back from a grueling workout in an 80 degree humid gym I discovered my cable was out. Wanting to watch something with I eat my can of Tuna with soy sauce, and before I make my dinner, I was pressed to throw in a DVD. There are currently two DVD in my possession that I had not watched yet. The first being Wall Street, which I have actually seen many moons ago. The second one was Hitch, starring Big Shot Robert Horry. I wasn't in the mood to deal with Sheen and Douglas and the stresses of Wall Street, so I took a risk (both in regards to the movie watching AND more importantly my grasp of my own sexuality) and turned on Hitched. The last Bob Horry movie I "saw" was iRobot. I am weary to use "saw" becuase "succumbed" to or "survived" may be more appropriate. Nonetheless, DVD goes into the machine, side presses play, and off we go.
This next line might cause my parents to disown me, my friends to turn there backs on me, and women to think me a homo but... I LIKED HITCH! For reasons unexplainable, this movie was not that bad. I laughed out loud a few times. I thought the insight into picking up women was funny and witty. I think Eva Mendes (2 Fast 2 furious) is NOT hard on the eyes at all or by any means. I thought Kevin James did an excellent job with the physical comedy. The Dance scenes reminded me of Philip Seymour Hoffman's Rainmaker Basket Ball scenes in Along Came Polly. Just classic and a great job at capturing the humor. I honestly like Will Smith in comedy roles more than action hero stuff. I'm not going to say it is the great crossover of sports flick and chick flick that Jerry Maguire can be, but there are some Knicks games in there. I would say this movie is Jerry Maguire meets Boomerang meets Swingers with a better execution of a similar plot of How To Lose A Man In 10 Days. I know the How To Lose a Man point could be taken the wrong way, or seen as a negative, but bear with me.

As is the case with guys with girlfriends, you always have that fight over what movie to watch. While the simple solution that I had used in past relationships was "I pick one, You pick one". But then you get stuck on The Girl With A Pearl Earring. So, if you are able to compromise, take Hitch.