I Hate You Ronsell

I liked the Walter Cash Gem whatever-the-F-Sweaters video. And I know Dellers posted this link already, but I promised you the best freestyle rap video ever created, so here it is

I had to spend my Saturday at the Airport, for whatever reasons that are not important. However, I would like to mention that there might not be a better invention or taking advantage of a market opportunity as good as booze at the Airport. Oh, the person who you are picking up's flight got delayed an hour, just enough time to get another round. What's that you say? If I buy the 28 oz beer, I get a shot for a dollar? Sign me up!

I have decided that Ice Cream is completely underrated right now. If you haven't had it in a while, I suggest mixing it in. It's really good.

Tevas however, are NOT underrated. Under no circumstances should you ever wear, own or think about wearing or owning or even really look at them.

Omissions Galore

(or well one at least)

One thing I left off of things I must get done when in L.A. was go see Joe play Hockey. I'm trying to get to either his game on the 29th or the 6th, possibly both. So if anyone is interested in going to see one of your 'boys knock some clowns around, play the real puck v stick and generally kick ass, then join me in showing support for Joe. God knows he's supported all of our -ish over the years.

Right now it's 80 degrees and pouring down rain. This type of weather is acceptable in 3 places. First, Hawaii or any other similar tropical local (Fiji, Bali, St. Lucia), because you have the beach right there. I'll take 80 degrees and rain while I sip Mai Tai's any day. Second, rain forests. Because they are rainforests and there are tons of new undiscovered medicines there, like the cure for herpes and dandruff. The third location that 80 degrees and rain is allowed is Tucson, Arizona during monsoon season. Walking back from class at 4pm, in flip flops and shorts, while flash floods run ramped through Bear Down gym and the rest of campus is classic. But where it is NOT OK for 80 degrees and thunderstorms all week, is Shanghai. No ocean, just a dirty river. No medicine to be found in trees or new plants to discover, just new diseases to be caught when you step into the trash on the side walk. And definitely no weathered U of A sluts with skin like leathery beef/pumpkin jerky from all the sun they get, to get drunk and touch.

Walter Cash: My comment yesterday was not aimed at only you (but you were the straw that broke the egg shells) but at everyone who does it, AND EVERYONE does it. I just wanted to state my feelings that I think it is so "san-ba" to write an introduction about why you haven't posted a blog update. We don't really care why, unless it was some serious illness or family tragedy. To at which that point we would feel sorry. But, just because you are too lazy to take 15 minutes out of your lunch break, or your American Idol watching, to post something funny on your site, don't bitch at me for telling you how it is. Click the Next Blog button, and I assure you 3/10 blogs start with something along the lines of "sorry I haven't blogged in a while but...". And no, my schedule is not open for "eating your shit", however it is open to "drinking you under the table", "embarrassing you in front of your friends" and "generally kicking your ass". Hope you can find the time.

Coming tomorrow- The funniest freestyle rap ever.

Gettin Hitched

I hate when people start off their most recent blogs with, "sorry I haven't posted/blogged in a while but...". You're not really that sorry, just busy, uncreative, occupied or just plain an asshole. Don't need to apologize about it, so get into your friggin blog already. No need to remind me that you haven't given me anything good to read in over a week. Enough already.

Sometimes even I (along with Dell) forget I live in a communist country. There are big differences and small differences between living in The States and living here in China. Big differences are things like censorship, as the article above points out. The little ones are things like, you can't buy big bags of frozen chicken breasts at the grocery store. Actually, there are not that many grocery stores to begin with. Another one is safety. Girls can walk around this city after hours feeling completely safe. You can be out at 3 am and see women walking home by themselves, like nothing could harm them. However, they refuse to take a taxi by themselves after 1am.

I'm looking forward to my late June trip back to the America. Even though it has only been 4+ months since I've been back, it's seemed much longer. Here's a quick list of things I need to get done while in the U.S.

1)Lucky Boy Breakfast Burrito
2)Northwoods Inn (or at least The Boat)
3)In 'N Out
4)The Beach
5)Swim in my parents swimming pool
6)Full Rejuvies in the Ocean*
7)Beirut
8)Shanghai Sangria Night with Dell, some Dice and some chicks (others are welcome and I know this one sounds really gay).
9)Remy Night and then Beaches
10)Beaches
11)Drink Merlot at 'Da Cattle
12)El Chollo
13)Halo (drinking or otherwise)
14)Del Taco
And Most important...
15)Get a friggin Tan

*Note, Full Rejuvies in the ocean are different than just going into the ocean because you must be hung over (read both mana and life are at critical levels) to need a Full Rejuvie. You would never use a Full Rejuvie in an other circumstance, unless you are an idiot. So, by saying that I want a Full Rejuvie implies that I want to have done something the night before, which would then cause both my life and mana levels to be low. Heavy boozing would be an example of such an activty.

Last night, after getting back from a grueling workout in an 80 degree humid gym I discovered my cable was out. Wanting to watch something with I eat my can of Tuna with soy sauce, and before I make my dinner, I was pressed to throw in a DVD. There are currently two DVD in my possession that I had not watched yet. The first being Wall Street, which I have actually seen many moons ago. The second one was Hitch, starring Big Shot Robert Horry. I wasn't in the mood to deal with Sheen and Douglas and the stresses of Wall Street, so I took a risk (both in regards to the movie watching AND more importantly my grasp of my own sexuality) and turned on Hitched. The last Bob Horry movie I "saw" was iRobot. I am weary to use "saw" becuase "succumbed" to or "survived" may be more appropriate. Nonetheless, DVD goes into the machine, side presses play, and off we go.
This next line might cause my parents to disown me, my friends to turn there backs on me, and women to think me a homo but... I LIKED HITCH! For reasons unexplainable, this movie was not that bad. I laughed out loud a few times. I thought the insight into picking up women was funny and witty. I think Eva Mendes (2 Fast 2 furious) is NOT hard on the eyes at all or by any means. I thought Kevin James did an excellent job with the physical comedy. The Dance scenes reminded me of Philip Seymour Hoffman's Rainmaker Basket Ball scenes in Along Came Polly. Just classic and a great job at capturing the humor. I honestly like Will Smith in comedy roles more than action hero stuff. I'm not going to say it is the great crossover of sports flick and chick flick that Jerry Maguire can be, but there are some Knicks games in there. I would say this movie is Jerry Maguire meets Boomerang meets Swingers with a better execution of a similar plot of How To Lose A Man In 10 Days. I know the How To Lose a Man point could be taken the wrong way, or seen as a negative, but bear with me.

As is the case with guys with girlfriends, you always have that fight over what movie to watch. While the simple solution that I had used in past relationships was "I pick one, You pick one". But then you get stuck on The Girl With A Pearl Earring. So, if you are able to compromise, take Hitch.